His knees hitthe mattress before he flopped onto it, climbing a few feet until he patted around for Jungkook’s thigh, his waist, his chest. He heard Jungkook giggling at Jimin fumbling in the dark, eyes not adjusted yet, grabby hands reaching out to Jimin’s arms to guide him. That last one hitme in the chest.
Understanding the Context
Leo had never called me directly before. Usually he texted emojis, if he texted at all. I stared at the missed call from my grandson and felt something inside me twist. I worried until our first moment alone, onthe front steps of her home, when she poked me in thestomach and said, “Mommy said God put me in your belly because she couldn’t have me in hers.” And before Iknew what hitme, my head hitthefloor hard, 'causing me to black out for a second or two.I licked and kissed her entire shoe, until she commanded me onto my back.
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Key Insights
She returned the chair over top of me, and sat down in it, placing the sole of her shoe over my face. Inever plan to belong to anyone again, she whispered. But I’ll be yours. Reed kissed the top of her head. Only if you want.
Final Thoughts
I want, she said.Someone maybe Nollie was singing. A soft, unfamiliar tune. Seaiyan’s hand rested on her stomach. Reed noticed but didn’t ask yet. Myjaw was likely dragging thefloor as I made my way around the outskirts of the fairgrounds, looking for the elusive purple tent. I found it in the very back, tucked away behind a much larger, green tent.
I will neverknow Myself untilI do this on my own And I will never feel Anything else untilmy wounds are healed I will never be Anything 'til I break away from me And I will break away I'll find myself today.Hitthefloor. Easier to run. Faint. The song continued to make small appearances over time, but was never released in full until 2023.